Guitarism (sparkle_frog) wrote,

  • Mood:


I still find it bizarre, how the most ugly things can, for moments alone, transcend their normal state and assume a beauty from not seeming to be what they are. Like heavy traffic in the rain, headlights shining off the road giving the scene an otherworldly impression of a bejewelled city, and I forgot the burning fumes, the ugliness of twisted metal, for a moment. What’ve we done with innocence? It disappeared with time, it never made much sense

Thank [insert deity here] that it’s Friday… maybe I’m not looking forward to a weekend at home alone, or at work as per se, but I *will* thoroughly enjoy getting to sleep past 5.50am. Doona, squishy warmth, here I come! Sometimes I think a social life would be nice, but I suspect that I don’t have one is all my own fault. Bloody defensive mechanisms, so that no one ever really gets to know me on meeting me for the first time. In fact, I rather suspect I come across as a total bitch.

No net credit, so I’m writing this in word… the queue at the bursars this morning was filled with year 12s and their formal payments.. I guess this feeling of everyone’s partying more than me is just a symptom of adolescence, but then, the fact that I essentially only know the people I knew in year 7, (when I rarely went out, tightass parents) probably should indicate that I really am a tragic loner. Oh well.

I’ll probably post this at recess, when I check my email. At lunch, I’ll be desperately scrawling my history sac, which I suspect I’ve already lost a good deal of marks on- I’m tired of formulaic answers so I’ve developed a new response to the topic- how Tsar Nicholas’ II’s conservative approach to Government and Russian society, and desire to ‘turn back the clock’ to make his Russia mirror that of the ancient Muscovite civilisation, is in direct conflict with his desire to industrialise Russia, to modernise it economically to bring it to an economic par with Europe and the rest of the world, (Crimean War, Russo-Japanese War- proved Russia, whilst it had the largest army, was militarily inferior for technological reasons. This conflict between the past and the future, between the Tsars desire to move Russia back into the past, and also to modernise- means that Revolution is inevitable- Russia is moving forward under a regime that is looking backwards, and, to follow the metaphor to the inevitable conclusion, is increasing it’s chance of toppling over. Also, the lessons of capitalism and industrialisation Russia learnt from the west did not include learning from the mistakes nearly all countries made- the devastating effects of young capitalism on the urban proletariat- poor conditions, long hour, could perhaps have been avoided had the Russian Government been prepared to learn from the mistakes of the west. It should also be noted that most countries more technologically/industrially/economically advanced than Russia were also more politically advanced, and had abolished feudalism and absolutism, which were perhaps at their most effective in governing agrarian societies.

I’m off to stress some more about my Russian Revolutions SAC, as it’ll be Monday by the time I post this, hope you all had fantastic weekends. I’m going home early! yay period 6 frees!

I’m sitting in the art room across from L2.11.. guess I was early.. stress.. brooding..
ok.. breathe.. breathe..
wish me luck!
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